Power of the Parent 10: S6 Ep10: Supporting Parents of Teens

Supporting parents in the workplace has become synonymous with parental leave returns (in my opinion) and it’s more than time for us to expand the conversation. There are so many facets when it comes to this topic, and one period of time that doesn’t get anywhere near the airtime it should (also in my opinion) is supporting parents of teens. 

In this week’s episode I’m joined by Power of the Parent associate coach, Shwezin Win. Shwezin blends a combination of being a coach, a previous Chair of a workplace ERG and a line manager to bring to life some of the practical things that could help support parents of older children. We’re releasing this now ahead of that January mocks and exam period for many people – there’s still time to offer up support to your valued team members! 

The three things explored are:

1. Understand the family set ups

2. The power of temporary working pattern changes

3. Creating environments where parents can be open about their challenges

Charlotte Speak  00:01

Hello and welcome to Power of the Parent. For the podcast, this series is a new format, and we are going to be focusing on a different topic each week, bringing you three things you need to know about, whatever that may be, mainly from an employer perspective. But of course, there’s plenty of reframing that parents could do to benefit from the content as well. We will be covering everything from parental leave transitions, managing boundaries, what to do when your talent pipeline looks a bit dodgy, tips on gathering feedback, and things like establishing parental support networks. So let’s dive in.  

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Power of the Parent, Three Things You Need to Know About…. And today, I have got a friend with me, the one and only, Shwezin Win, who is a Power of the Parent, consultant coach, and I’m thrilled that she’s going to be here to talk to us about a topic very close to her heart, and probably almost very close to my heart, given that I’ve got a 10 year old, and that is a topic that perhaps doesn’t always get lots of air time in the workplace, but that is about supporting parents beyond those years of the return and moving more into the teen years and all of the rich tapestry of things that Come with that, but particularly for what does that mean in the workplace, and how might you as an employer take on some responsibility and offers of really practical support? So I’m going to stop talking, I’m going to mute my microphone, and I’m going to hand over to Shwezin.

Shwezin Win  01:36

Thank you. So today, we’re focusing on supporting parents with teens, because once you’re a parent, is a long journey of ups and downs. It’s a roller coaster of self doubt, feelings of guilt, chasing that elusive work life balance to do right by your family and still wanting to thrive in your career. These parents are your highly talented, experienced individuals, loyal advocates of the business, who love their career but also have the responsibility of raising a family whilst achieving all of that. 

Now they say bigger children, bigger problems, and whilst it might not be the case for everybody, as my children and step children have grown as a working mum and a step mum, I can really relate to that, so the child that I once knew has felt like a stranger in our house. As children grow as a parent, you start to lose control of their upbringing. You become more of a mentor than a boss, and this stage in parenting brings with it a lot of uncertainties. 

The lack of control and influence can be difficult as the child grows and starts to make their own choices in the world, as teens go through puberty, they can be moody, irritable, secretive, and the emotional ups and downs can be extreme. You all have to remember that they’re also physically bigger than they were as toddlers, and when there’s anger and frustration, these moments can be quite scary and emotionally draining for parents. 

So for those of you who’ll be enjoying your festive break, consider some parents of teens who will be stressed while supporting their teens to revise for the mock exams, which can in some schools be in January or February. 

Now this is the main challenge for organisations, because schools and colleges have different timetables, so there’s no real one size fits all when it comes to parenting support. So what are the three things that organisations and line managers can do to support parents of teens? 

Well, number one, understand the family setups. Number two, make temporary working pattern changes available. And number three, create an environment where parents can be open about their challenges. So let me take those in a little bit more detail. 

So first up, understand the family setups. Do you know what stage the children of your team members are at whilst nobody owes you their intimate family business. Keeping a rough eye on if someone has exams coming up or a team that’s struggling with something at school can be really helpful. Do the children have special needs or additional support? It’s not unusual to find a parent who’s navigating their own mental ill health, alongside struggles their children might be facing with their well being, throw in juggling work with other family members and a noisy societal narrative, and you’ve got the uncomfortably perfect backdrop for a mental health crisis. 

For many teens, it may not even get to the stage of a formal diagnosis, and as a parent that can carry a huge weight, also consider the support system and other areas impacting the way they bring up their children, whether someone is solo parenting, step parenting, co parenting, or in multicultural backgrounds, it all adds to the challenge that collide when bringing up a team. 

Secondly, make temporary working pattern challenge changes available. It’s tempting to run towards really formal, policy driven conversations about flexible working. However, not every situation needs it. Imagine you’ve got a parent who’s struggling to get their teenager to school or college, or perhaps exam year is coming up, and it means, on a really basic level, there’s a lot more toing and froing and requests for the parent taxi service.

Could you sort within your team for someone to work a different pattern temporarily? And it’s not a one off. It might be. They have mock exams as well as the main exams, either way, if it eases some mental load for that short period of time, it can go a really long way to having a positive impact on someone’s engagement and overall performance. 

Thirdly, create an environment where parents can be open about their challenges. It’s not uncommon for parents to feel the need to be able to do it all a dodgy societal narrative can get us all at some point and the potential outcome, mental and emotional strain that isn’t always neatly compartmentalized away from the workplace, creating a space for parents to be honest about their short term challenges, rather than to be overwhelmed with having to deal with 

These situations in isolation and keep a brave face on it all will certainly go a long way to supporting parents through the journey. We know from clients, the idea of their career ambitions ebbing and flowing would feel far more comfortable if they could share the realities they faced with the fear of saying, I can’t right now, equating to being written off altogether is very real. 

So how can you take a longer term view of talent, and how can you authentically share that view out loud? Well, keep the communication open and revisit their career aspirations from time to time, allowing them the space to deal with family challenges without the longer term impact on their reputation. It’s incredibly important to remember that intersectionality plays a huge role here too. 

Every parent is going to have a different experience, as is every child. Understanding what might be informing and influencing their day to day will be an essential as well as helping you remove the assumptions and stereotype. 

We know there’s a lot to navigate, but that’s life with the many uncertainties to navigate, especially when you’re juggling family and a career. We know that children between 14 and 24 are most susceptible to mental health issues, which, of course, has the potential to be carried over into adulthood and the workplace. 

Recent research shows that parents have struggled with their mental health as they try and support their children through a tough period of their upbringing as they move into adulthood. And let’s remember behind all of these stats and percentages, you’ll find real people, even though there’s not enough formal research into the impacts of parental stress on workplace productivity, we know anecdotally that the impact is strikingly evident. 

There is an understanding that mental and emotional stress outside the workplace can impact individuals, concentration, anxiety, self esteem, confidence and behavior towards colleagues. The ripple effect on your teams, line management and functions across the business can be enormous as communications and relationships break down, the work environment has the potential to become more challenging. 

So for further support, you can access a recent blog post of mine, which will be linked in the show notes.

Charlotte Speak  08:36

Thank you so much, Shwezin, and I think it’s a really poignant moment to end on by saying like this can become such a challenge, but what I take away from all of these hints and tips is that it can also be easily avoided. 

Shwezin Win  08:51

Yes, absolutely. I think there are some real key things that organisations can do to support the ongoing parenting journey.

Charlotte Speak  08:57

Yeah, and that we know from clients that contact us. There’s still so much focus on the parental leave transitions like that is just what it is, and rightly so. It is a really delicate time. It comes with a lot of vulnerability. It’s not the only moment, is it? And hopefully, you know, we hope that we are parents long after those earlier years, I guess, you know, as a word of comfort, I think I’d like to just add that as an employer, you don’t have to know the answers to all of this stuff straight away. It’s okay to ask the parents who are perhaps going through it, and sort of say what might be helpful right now, I suppose, is one thing to consider.

Shwezin Win  09:40

Yeah, and I think even just that question itself, Charlotte is what will help parents to feel as though they can be open and honest about these situations, because they do come and go, and sometimes you feel as though you do have to hide it and try and move on. So yeah, definitely just those open communications and that safe environment to be you. The parent that you can be.

Charlotte Speak  10:01

Yeah. Amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, and if you are listening in then, as Shwezin mentioned, there will be a linked article in the show notes, and you can get in touch with us about how power the parent can support parents at all different stages of their parenting and life juggle and managing all those imbalances. So thank you so much Shwezin. 

Shwezin Win  10:27

Thank you Char.

Charlotte Speak  10:29

Thank you so much for joining me for another episode of power of the parent podcast. If you have got a few spare minutes, who am I kidding? Of course, you haven’t got a few spare minutes, but if you would like to choose to spend a few of your minutes giving me any sort of review or rating, I would massively appreciate it. It does help other people find it, and it also lets me know that I’m hitting the spot with listeners. For more free resources, you can head to the show notes, where you’ll find a link to the Power of the Parent website, or do head on over to LinkedIn and give me a follow, search Charlotte speak and my grinning face should pop up until next time, take care.