Power of the Parent 6: S6 Ep6: Going Beyond Policies

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Episode Transcript

Hello and welcome to Power of the Parent, the podcast.  This series is a new format and we are going to be focusing on a different topic each week, bringing you three things you need to know about whatever that may be, mainly from an employer perspective. But of course, there’s plenty of reframing that parents could do to benefit from the content as well.

We will be covering everything from parental leave transitions, managing boundaries, what to do when your talent pipeline looks a bit dodgy, tips on gathering feedback, and things like establishing parental support networks.  So, let’s dive in.

Today we are talking about what you need to know about going beyond policies.  Now a phrase that many people have had to listen to me say on repeat is policies are important, but they’re not worth the paper they’re written on if we don’t help line managers implement them and they have to meet people in their reality. 

In a more succinct version, the phrase go beyond policies is  also front and centre on my bingo card. But what does that actually mean? This episode is all about bringing this to life. So the three things that you need to know about going beyond policies are one, what’s the organisational narrative?

Two, what’s the lived experience and three, it isn’t the big stuff.  So let’s dive in.  So the first point, what’s the organisational narrative? What is it that you want people to buy into? What does your organisation stand for? For example, you might have very visible parental leave policies, and hopefully the whole gang is there, maternity, adoption, equal parental, shared paternity, surrogacy perhaps,  but in an organisation that goes beyond policies, you’ll also have structures and approaches around these important policies that considers things like opportunities after someone has become a parent, That your career doesn’t get written off if you’ve grown your family, however, that may come about.  You won’t just present folks with a policy and say, good luck, you’ll also be on your way to making sure you’re understanding the day to day realities of parents in the organisation. You’ll have shared values that talk  loud and proud about everyone’s contribution being valued and that you want to build an inclusive and equitable culture.

Think of it this way. If you were to ask a cross section of people in your organisation about the narrative they’re part of, what would they say? Would it be, yeah, we have great policies, or would it be something further towards, we have great policies, but also the actual experiences are great too. You’re valued around here, regardless of your family setup, and we want everybody to be able to thrive.

There’s a really great episode of a different podcast that I want to recommend on this topic too, from Babies with Love, the episode with Neil Morrison talking about how strategic narratives can help achieve your goals. I’ll link it in the show notes. 

The second point, what’s the lived experience? I’m going to bring this one to life with an example.

So meet James, a parent to a little boy with complex medical needs.  James and his partner regularly find themselves at the hospital with planned appointments and some not so planned emergencies for their little boy.  James would describe himself as a parent carer. He’s a parent, but ultimately also has medical caring responsibilities for his son.

James is doing a cracking job at work, no performance issues, but he’s clearly struggling his way through to cope with juggling responsibilities, appointments for his son, and little to no chance of doing anything for himself or his partner. James’s line manager knows some of what is going on but doesn’t pry too much into the details because work is often James’s safe space to not have to focus on medical conversations.

There’s a paid carers leave policy but within a few months the five paid days are wiped out leaving James with the option of taking sick days but that isn’t  his situation or holidays. It’s all quite clunky and he has a conversation with his line manager.  They agree that taking holiday days isn’t sustainable because at some point he is going to need an actual break, but he can’t afford to use unpaid leave either.

His line manager checks there aren’t any other policies or paid provision for time away from the workplace being offered.  And  when there isn’t, they get creative. There is no neat answer to this, but there also wasn’t an answer buried in a policy somewhere, because how can you possibly make a provision with such nuanced and complicated needs? 

Some of the support mechanisms they put in place for James include regular reviews on workload, Temporarily changing his hours, providing access to counselling and the line manager had some discretionary budget that she bought a voucher for a meal delivery service to send to James and his family to take the pressure off even just for a couple of weeks while they got through a particularly challenging time of appointments. 

It doesn’t have to be a carbon copy for everybody. That’s what worked for the organisation and James, the metaphorical sweet spot.

And finally, it isn’t the big stuff. I want to end on a myth that needs to be busted here. It isn’t really expensive, all singing, all dancing, jazz hands and glitter, that really makes the difference in supporting your people beyond the words of a policy.

Asking people how they are, agreeing future check ins, putting an out of office on for them, directing inquiries elsewhere if they’re out of the organisation for a while, sending a card, checking in on routine changes, honouring boundaries, having honest conversations. They’re all things that contribute way beyond written words but probably won’t ever be found in a policy.

And to be honest, they don’t need to be. This is the human side of things that comes along and is shaped by individual situations. And that’s okay.  A handy tip here that I’ll throw in is to ask for a support amnesty. I’ve done this before for clients where you get anybody in the organisation to share, anonymously if they prefer, acts of support either they’ve been on the receiving end of or done themselves that perhaps isn’t documented somewhere that they’d love other people to consider doing in the future.

You never know what might bring some inspiration. That’s all for this week. I’ll be back next week with a guest sharing three things you need to know about supporting single parents in the workplace.

Thank you so much for joining me for another episode of Power of the Parent with podcast. If you have got a few spare minutes, who am I kidding? Of course you haven’t got a few spare minutes, but if you would like to choose to spend a few of your minutes  giving me any sort of review or rating, I would massively appreciate it.

It does help other people find it. And it also lets me know that I’m hitting the spot with listeners. For more free resources, you can head to the show notes. where you’ll find a link to the Power of the Parent website, or do head on over to LinkedIn and give me a follow. Search Charlotte Speak and my grinning face should pop up.

Until next time, take care.