Power of the Parent 7: S6 Ep7: Supporting Single, Solo and Co-Parents in the Workplace

1. The varying realities of single parenthood and how it is not just a one size fits all
2. What flexible working really means to single parents
3. Ways to make career progression accessible for single parents

Episode Transcript

Charlotte Speak  00:01

Hello and welcome to Power of the Parent, the podcast. This series is a new format and we are going to be focusing on a different topic each week, bringing you three things you need to know about whatever that may be, mainly from an employer perspective. But of course, there’s plenty of reframing that parents could do to benefit from the content as well.

We will be covering everything from parental leave transitions, managing boundaries, what to do when your talent pipeline looks a bit dodgy, tips on gathering feedback, and things like establishing parental support networks.  So let’s dive in. 

Charlotte Speak  00:39

Today is going to work slightly differently, because I’ve actually got a friend with me, and the subject that we’re going to be focusing on today is three things that you need to know about supporting single parents in the workplace. And I’m absolutely delighted to say that I’m being joined by Orla, who is the founder of Solus coaching, who has a very immense amount of knowledge and excellent insights for us to share today about how we support single parents. I have had a sneak peek of what she’s going to be sharing with us, and it is fantastic. So thank you so much for joining me today. Orla,

Orla Donaghue  01:16

Thank you for having me. I’m very excited about this.

Charlotte Speak  01:19

I know that people are going to want to get stuck straight into this, so I’m going to be quiet. I’m going to just listen to you, and I’m going to hand over for your three things that you would like workplaces to know about supporting single parents.

Orla Donaghue  01:32

Thank you so much. So hello. I am Orla from solace coaching, a coaching business that is focused solely on supporting single parents, and my mission is to have single parents living the life they deserve before starting my coaching business, I worked for over a decade in Retail Merchandising, and I’ve experienced working in retail head offices of several fashion brands, becoming a single parent whilst in these environments was a total mixture of, at times, being shown great empathy and feeling undersold to other times where I was left feeling discriminated against for being a single parent, which had a huge impact on my confidence. 

Orla Donaghue  02:10

My story, unfortunately, is just one of many with one in four families with dependent children in the UK, headed up by single parents, and 66% of these in employment. Single parents rights, a campaign group that advocates for single parent equality, conducted a survey on single parents access to work and career progression in 1922 the research, which surveyed over 1000 single parents, found that single parents reported a lack of affordable childcare, a lack of flexible working and a lack of understanding from employers around the reality of being a single parent, this impacted their ability to find work and to progress within their chosen career. It is clear that so much needs to be done to make the workplace accessible and inclusive for single parents, and today, I’m going to talk about the three things I would love employers to know about supporting single parents in the workplace.

Orla Donaghue  03:05

These three things are one the varying realities of single parenthood and how it is not just a one size fits all. Two, what flexible working really means to single parents, and three ways to make career progressions accessible for single parents.

Orla Donaghue  03:22

So starting with point one, understanding the single parent landscape, for employers to be in a position to better support single parents, the first thing they need to do is understand the various aspects of single parenthood and how everyone’s path to and reality of being a single parent is different. There are many labels for single parents. Employers can start by understanding and using the correct terminology. Awareness of these terms and which are relevant to the individuals in your single parent workforce is the first step to showing that you are on their site. Broadly speaking, single parents fall into three categories, single parents with no support from the other parents, co parents who share responsibilities with the other parents, and then solo parents who choose to raise a child without a partner. Understanding these terms and their differences is key to providing the right support as not all face the same challenges. Becoming a single parent is often a result of life altering events, whether it’s separation, divorce, the loss of a partner, or choosing solo parenthood, these are deeply personal and often painful experiences that affect every aspect of life, including work. Employers cannot overlook the profound, emotional and practical challenges their employers are carrying with them every day, understanding how these big life events have a huge impact in your employer. Employees’ well being is key for the employers to be able to support the employees through the transition into becoming a single parent, having policies in place to ensure that these are dealt with compassionately and. Correctly, will help make the transition as smooth as possible. Also point to note, once the initial transition phase is over, the support should not stop there. Single parents still deal with the responsibility of being the sole head of their household. Trying to juggle home and work life can be a really big challenge. The setup between single parents, co parent and solo parent families differ from family to family. The challenges single parents and solo parents face can be overwhelmed from children’s responsibilities of parenting and finances alone, risk of single parent burnout and lack of adult social connection, whereas the challenges of co parenting families can be navigating difficult co parent relationships with an ex and dealing with loneliness when their kids are at their other parents’ house. The main thing that employers need to do is understand the terms, recognize the nuances and adapt to the specific needs of their employees. Do not make assumptions for your single parent employees of what their home life is like and what they can and can’t do instead, get to know the unique setup of your employees, and this can open the conversation for how best to plan the workload for them to meet their specific needs. For example, a co-parent may be able to go on a work conference while their children are with their other parents, or a single parent may be able to lead a project that fits into their areas. Do not make decisions for them based on your assumptions. A huge thing for employers to understand is the discrimination that single parents face in the workplace. 59% of over 1000 single parents surveyed by single parents rights reported that they felt discriminated as a single parent in the workplace. As I’ve touched on, it can be too easy for employers to make assumptions for single parents. In order to banish the single parent stigma in the workplace, employers can take the following steps ensure all line managers are aware of the policies, processes and their role in supporting single parent team members encouraging a positive environment for single parents. Include single parents as a category on employee engagement surveys, this can help build a picture of the single parents in the company and highlight any changes that may be needed to encourage a more inclusive environment for single parents. Set up a single parent support group. A big impact of the single parent stigma is a feeling of loneliness and isolation. Setting up a single parent support group can help combat this in the workplace. If you already have a parenting group set up, great. This could be a subgroup of that.

Orla Donaghue  07:40

Moving on to the second point, and what I would love employers to know about supporting single parents, and that is what flexible work means single parents. Flexible Working isn’t just a nice perk for single parents, it is essential. 87% of single parents surveyed by single parent rights reported a need for more flexible roles, single parents do not have a luxury of another parent in their household to share the load of nursery and school drop offs or staying at home when their child is unwell and not to mention covering the school holidays. This can leave single parents completely stretched for time and feel like they’re fitting a square peg into a rain towel when trying to create a balanced work life and home life. There are many ways employers can expand their flexible working policy to accommodate the additional demands faced by single parents. Increase the threshold of work from home days for single parents, cutting out the commute time can be the difference between a single parent making it to school pick up on time and not offer Flexi time. This allows single parents to plan their workloads around their childcare schedule, attend doctor’s appointments and school events. It can be incredibly stressful for single parents to have to deal with all the caring needs of their children on their own by giving flexibility of when they work, this takes off some of the pressure parental leave look more broadly at the scope of what can be taken as parental leave, include things like mediation meetings and divorce hearings. Also consider allowing parental leave to be taken on an hourly basis rather than a full day, so that single parents do not lose a whole day’s parental leave for attending an appointment consult with single parent team members before pushing in essential company meetings into the diary. Do they have to be in person? Can they be online? Are they in core business working hours? These should all be considered before putting any meetings or events into the calendar. Advertise flexible working in job advertisements and offer flexible working from day one to attract single parent candidates into the recruitment process. On the point of being flexible, a big thing that employers need to remember is not to cancel meetings at the last minute or put meetings in the diary at the last minute. A last minute meeting change might seem trivial. But for a single parent, it can be catastrophic. Behind every workday is a carefully choreographed schedule of balancing, school drop offs, childcare, meal times, bedtimes and the list just goes on. One sudden shift can throw the entire day or even week into chaos. Employers must respect the delicate balance single parents are trying to maintain. A little foresight and consistency can make all the difference between a manageable day and an impossible one. So whilst being flexible is key, being consistent and reliable is also very important to help single parents manage the work life balance with ease.

Orla Donaghue  10:37

My final point that would love employers to know about supporting single parents in the workplace is how to make career progression more accessible for single parents. Imagine being skilled, ambitious and motivated, but having to watch opportunities slip through your fingers simply because the system isn’t designed for someone like you. Single parents are ready to Excel, but time and time again, they hit a wall because the pathways to success remain inaccessible. This is a failure of the workplace, not the individual, and it needs to change. Many single parents are not working to their full ability, which can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening. In order to open the career advancement prospects for single parents, employers should be considering the following when it comes to single parents where training is required, consider whether this could be online across multiple days and within core business hours. These considerations will make it easier for single parents to attend and catch up on the days they cannot make due to childcare commitments make more senior roles accessible to part time employees. Many single parents have to work in part time roles due to the demands of child care. This can impact their progression of the career ladder. As more senior roles are generally full time hours, single parents in this position can feel undervalued and stagnant in their roles with no opportunity for progression. Think about adapting more senior roles by doing things such as considering a job sharing model for the role so that part time employees can apply for these positions. I’ve already touched on the importance of flexibility for single parents, and this flexibility should be evident across the board at all levels of seniority to make moving up the ranks even more possible for single parents. These are just some of the suggestions. By not creating accessible pathways for career progression, employers are overlooking a pool of highly skilled and motivated individuals. Having listened to all my points today, what do you think your company could implement to make career progression more accessible for single parents?

Orla Donaghue  12:41

And there you have it, the three things that I would love employers to know about, making single parents feel supported in the workplace by employers taking on by employers taking on board, the three things I have raised today of understanding the single parent landscape, recognizing what flexible working means for single parents, and making career progression accessible for single parents, they will be one step closer to promoting an inclusive and supportive environment for single parents to excel and Thrive. Thank you so much for listening and for any further information about me and solace coaching, please visit my website@soliccoaching.com Finally, a huge thank you to Power of the Parent for giving me the opportunity to raise the awareness around a much, much overlooked topic.

Charlotte Speak  13:27

Thank you so much Orla for taking the time to share those points with us.

Charlotte Speak  13:32

I know that you’ve got three headlines there, but I think it’s very fair to say that you’ve been generous with your practical insights, and there’s absolutely heaps that people can take away and hopefully implement in a really practical way.

Charlotte Speak  13:47

Something that I definitely find is overlooked is that recognition of the terms and how they differ, that is something really it’s quite simple, but it’s something that is, I find, anyway, anecdotally, with clients, that it’s just not recognized, and everybody’s kind of pulled in together in one term, and it is different, and it is a very different experience. And just acknowledging that that is there, and knowing what somebody’s individual situation is, I think, is an incredibly powerful point.

Charlotte Speak  14:18

I think your point as well about support might need to fluctuate. So bearing in mind that that is a thing, that the support that you need up front, particularly if you are in the workplace, when you’re at the point of a relationship breaking apart, that obviously, for some people’s situations, they might come to you a ready made single parent. It might not be that you do support them through a relationship ending. But for those where it is, and that’s right, from that very beginning part, that’s where you’re going to really see those spikes in support change.

Charlotte Speak  14:51

And then I think it was a really great shout about if you’ve already got, this is something that I talk a lot about with clients, where you’ve already got like a parent and carer support network or affinity group use them for all the reasons that you wanted to put them in in the first place. It can be such an incredible community and a real safe space for people. But I also know that those offshoots are sometimes overlooked because people are stretched, and it can feel like it’s definitely on the list we want to do it, but unless you’re given that autonomy as a group, unless you’re funded, well, unless people are advocating for you to take time out of your day job to go and be part of that community, that can be infinitely harder, can’t it? So I think it’s brilliant to shout that out, I loved the phrase. It’s a carefully choreographed schedule. And using that, I think, is really powerful, and I will definitely be quoting you in the show notes on that one.

Charlotte Speak  15:51

But the essence that I take away from a lot of what you shared today is understanding and valuing people’s time as well, and looking creatively at how we might use policies. And I think that’s something that I just want to have. This is very much a specific conversation about supporting single parents. However, what I do want to say there and call out is we should be doing that for everybody. We should be valuing everybody’s time. And sometimes we can get very nervous and very wrapped up in, what am I meant to say to somebody if they’re in a situation that I know nothing about, what if I am trying to support a single parent and I don’t know how to venture into that, my plea would be to always think about, what would you do for anybody you know we’re not we’re not in like, for like, carbon copy situations.

Charlotte Speak  16:42

So yes, they are unique situations, but your skills as a leader or as a line manager can be transferable, and that curiosity, that support, you don’t have to walk in somebody’s shoes to be able to help them and just be able to really show kindness and help in that way. So rather than be put off and think, oh, I don’t know what to do because I’ve never been there myself, think about the things that all of those instances over the over your life, where you’ve helped somebody and you weren’t in exactly the same situation as them, and I hope that that for some of us, hopefully that gives a bit of a boost in confidence, because I think that is often at the core of a message, and it’s certainly what I’ve taken at the core of your message. Don’t know if you wanted me to, but I’ve taken that at the core of look after your people, value them, value their time, and everything else does have the capability to fall into place

Orla Donaghue  17:38

Exactly. And one thing as well, I think being nervous about speaking to say, single parents. I mean, that goes back to the stigma. A lot of single parents are more than happy to talk, but no one asks. So just speak to them. Ask them, What is the situation, and they will like talk about it. But I think myself, I’ve had the experience of sitting in corporations and thinking, Oh, well, I can’t actually talk about it because no one’s even asking me. So it feels like, almost like this dirty topic you can’t speak about, so just ask, yeah, make an open conversation.

Charlotte Speak  18:08

Brilliant. Thank you, because people soon tell you if they don’t want to talk about certain things, but generally, I think they do want to be seen. They do want to be heard, don’t they? So thank you so much, and thank you for sharing all of that amazing wisdom and practical ideas. I know that it’s going to make a huge amount of difference to lots of people listening. So if we can just recap for us again, if we want to come and find you, are you on LinkedIn as well?

Orla Donaghue  18:31

Yes, I’m on LinkedIn. So Orla Donaghue on LinkedIn is my name. And also, just to say, I have also just launched a podcast of my own, and it’s called the Single Parent Reset. So it’s little, small snippets each week where I talk about a topic for single parents and kind of just digest it and give tools and strategies for single parents to overcome certain challenges.

Charlotte Speak  18:53

Amazing. Thank you. I will put a link in the show notes to all of those things your LinkedIn profile and your podcast as well. So thanks once again, Orla, and until next time, take care.

Orla Donaghue  19:04

Thank you.

Charlotte Speak  19:07

Thank you so much for joining me for another episode of Power of the Parent with podcast. If you have got a few spare minutes, who am I kidding? Of course you haven’t got a few spare minutes, but if you would like to choose to spend a few of your minutes  giving me any sort of review or rating, I would massively appreciate it.

It does help other people find it. And it also lets me know that I’m hitting the spot with listeners. For more free resources, you can head to the show notes. where you’ll find a link to the Power of the Parent website, or do head on over to LinkedIn and give me a follow. Search Charlotte Speak and my grinning face should pop up.

Until next time, take care.