A couple of weeks ago, my pal Genelle Aldred sent me a link to a radio ‘discussion’. The note read ‘interesting one’. And let me tell you, when Genelle is sending you something, you know it’s time to have a look.
The conversation was stemming from an article written by a journalist. She stated ‘Parents should get priority over child-free colleagues when booking annual leave, particularly when children are off school’. If we need to explain click bait when the aliens land – show them that headline. We needn’t say much more.
It’s extreme statements like this that drive me wild. In my opinion they add very little value but lots of noise.
Before we dive into the detail I want to be clear about a few things:
- We need to do a better job of supporting parents in the workplace when it comes to school holiday support. Some of that can come from employers, some of it is a shake up of our failing childcare provision.
- There are a myriad of ways we could actually make the school holidays work for everybody. It does mean getting creative freeing up some archaic thinking.
- This conversation deserves a strategic seat at the business planning table. That is a hill I am willing to die on.
- Ultimately I think we’re asking the wrong question. It’s not should parents get priority. It’s how do we look differently at the school holiday support, enabling talent across the board to stay in the workforce with minimal drama.
So, hold my drink. We’re going in…
We all have lives
I’ve been a parent for nearly 11 years. I’ve had three pregnancies and have two earth side babies. I adore my children, but honestly life did not begin the moment I birthed them.
I’ve built a business based on creating workplaces where parents and businesses can thrive. However, I disagree with the view that parents should get priority when it comes to the school holidays. I feel very deeply that this kind of pitting groups of people against each other is damaging and removes the space for nuance – which is so needed. School holiday support isn’t as simple as this.
There is of course part of this conversation about being able to have the option to take your kids away if you can afford (or want) to during the holidays. The reality for parents is, you are limited if you want to avoid fines and make sure your kids are in school when they’re meant to be. So on a practical level there is a reduction in the window we have. Let’s throw in the dynamics of different family set ups too. If you’re a blended family or having to bargain with an ex-partner, you’ve got a whole other set of logistics to contend with too.
However. You don’t need kids or caring responsibilities to want time off over ‘peak’ holiday times. There are plenty of reasons why you might want / need to take time off during those periods. Making bold statements like the one discussed in the article mentioned above are problematic in my opinion.
Genelle gave me her own example as a timely reminder with this conversation – ‘I don’t have kids but when we have the big family holiday’s they are in the holidays because my sisters do. So I wouldn’t work anywhere that said ‘I don’t get to book that time’ because I am part of a family too’. How much talent might a company start to miss out on because you’re switching people off for saying one group is more important than another?
The numbers don’t even add up
Let’s say for a minute we let this play out. Even with ‘priority’ afforded to them, parents are still going to be scrabbling around figuring out how they cover childcare. Between two weeks at Christmas, two weeks at Easter, six in summer, plus two half terms – the average annual leave allowance in the UK is far from meeting this reality.
There are some blurred lines within this conversation I think, and it heightens the risk of not getting to the route of the conversation. What’s holiday, what’s a childcare conversation and where do the two meet.
Treating parents as a monolith
Not every parent has the same life set up (I know, shocker, right?). If we give blanket parameters about things like booking annual leave first, as long as you have kids – where do you start and stop? Depending on the age of the children, you could have so many different situations on your hands.
If you add in the realities of parents with children who have additional needs and are often woefully under provided for with things like holiday clubs, you’ve got another set of challenges on your hands too.
The assumption that because I run my own business will mean I can take all the school holidays off has been uttered on more than one occasion. And for some business owners they may well do that – out of choice or circumstance. Honestly though, it’s not for me. As I said, I love my kids but the idea of spending every day with them over the summer holidays is not my first choice.
I’m being a bit tongue in cheek here, because ultimately you’d hope it would come down to quality conversations. That would be the common sense approach. But I know all too well that give someone a policy, they can run with it and won’t always stop to play out what it looks like in practice.
So what am I suggesting?
It’s time to sit up and be realistic, and stop pitting groups of people against each other. It might get clicks, but they’re temporary. The longer lasting damage has a legacy we don’t want to uphold. It exacerbates stereotypes, creates toxicity in the workplace and creates animosity we just don’t need.
There are times in our lives where we’re going to need the support of others. For lots of us that could be about childcare set ups. It could however, just as easily be other life milestones, illnesses, short term changes or big seismic shifts.
None of these conversations feel to come from a place of compassion. They sound like a race to the bottom, and honestly I think that’s a dangerous place to be in. Call me rose tinted, call me naive. But surely a better start point is to figure out what creates a healthy workplace, how we meet people in their reality and deliver organisational goals? Sling all that in, maybe question a few bits that are stagnating and see what needs a revisit.
If I was someone leading this discussion in my organisation, I would be:
- Getting feedback from everybody in the business about the realities of how school holidays are impacting everybody. What’s working, what isn’t, what’s creating solutions, what’s bringing the challenges. Getting it all surfaced.
- I’d ask for the blue sky ideas. Hold the operational side (for now) and let people do their most creative thinking before we start to finding problems.
- I’d trial things and I’d look at the different set ups and team structures. Something might work in one area of your business that doesn’t fit for another.
- Explaining the broader strategy of attraction, retention and commercial performance. I’d be linking this conversation back to why it isn’t as simple as a group ‘getting priority’.
- Looking across my industry (and arguably outside too), to understand what’s going on. Are there other companies trialling things? Has someone made a change already we could learn from?
This isn’t a clear cut, one word answer situation. Let’s press pause and ask some better questions – maybe we’ll come up with some fresher solutions.
Charlotte Speak is a Parental Support Strategy Consultant and founder of Power of the Parent®. You can follow Charlotte on LinkedIn or drop an email to hello@power-of-the-parent.com if you’d like to arrange a call about working with the Power of the Parent® team.