I come across a myriad of beliefs and attitudes about parents in the workplace.
Plenty of good stuff of course. But damaging stereotypes, myths, half-told anecdotes and limiting beliefs hang around too. How do we really tackle it in a way that challenges, protects, shows new perspectives and doesn’t leave more damage behind? Here are some of my tips that can help face into the bigger picture barriers…
What is getting celebrated?
It’s the subliminal messaging here – if there’s a focus on rewarding particular ways of working that are less accessible to parents, we have to accept that drives a certain message. Constantly praised for long hours (sidebar – are we sure they’re not just inefficient?!) is one I hear a lot as something that drives a divide. Of course when someone has gone above and beyond we want to recognise them and we can keep an eye on the patterns of what is being recognised.
Whether we like it or not, there are certain ways of working that are harder for parents in the workplace to sign up to. It doesn’t mean they won’t find a way, but before we contort ourselves to fit, have we gone up stream to ask if they’re boxes that should still exist?
What needs to come with more ease?
Someone recently (not sure if they were a line manager, I was a guest speaker on someone else’s webinar) asked me how to deal with the immediate dread when someone shares they’re going to become a parent. I know, nice and blunt right?
We had a quick dig around and the ‘dread’ came from the processes, paperwork and hidden away policies their organisation had. It felt difficult and convoluted to know what their organisation offered by way of parental leave packages, let alone understand any additional support. They’d also had a history of tricky recruitment experiences into fixed term contracts, so whilst I didn’t love the language around it, I could understand where the ‘dread’ came from. Getting some feedback from line managers, understanding what could be simplified and looking at how someone accesses the information might sound basic but let’s not assume.
Parents in the workplace are facing enough challenges, let’s not add difficult admin for line managers to the list.
Surface safely
If these kinds of thoughts, feelings and opinions are hidden in the shadows, there’s very little we can do about them. If we know the anecdotes, the unhelpful language being used and the stereotypes being peddled, we stand a far better chance of changing them. Is there a safe way people can share their challenges around parental support? Not everybody has the boldness of the person I described above when it comes to commenting on parents in the workplace. However, when we do get to hear these thoughts, we can come up with a plan. And I’ll be honest – some people won’t be changed. But if we can influence those who are in the middle and having a bit of a grumble, I’d chalk that up as a win.
If there’s anything covered here you’d like to talk about, if there’s a challenge you’re facing in your organisation, or you want to speak more generally about parents in the workplace you can book a discovery call here.