What works with Strong Returns®? (and what doesn’t)

Strong Returns® is where it all started for me at Power of the Parent®. After my own rocky experiences in the workplace around the delicate time of combining nursery drops, germs and a career. I knew there was so much more we could do.

We don’t have to reduce people to an identity grounded in their offspring or cliches on the internet (some of which are 100% true but not 100% of the time). 

I’ve picked up a lot of experience and learning over the last seven years when it comes to supporting parents in the workplace. The ‘returner’ conversation is one of the highlights, full of rich and vibrant learning moments. 

So today, when this topic still reigns supreme for many employers, I want to take you behind the scenes and share a few things that really do work for supporting returners and the things that don’t, based on my expertise, opinion and experience.

What works?

• Conversations about strengths

Parenthood has become synonymous with losing your own identity and forgetting what we’re good at for a long time now. I’m regularly known to people as ‘Polly and Lilly’s mum’ before my own name when I’m at clubs and classes, and there were far too many moments where I questioned my worth and expertise when I first returned to the workplace. However, something that has always helped me and the hundreds of clients I’ve coached, has been to bring in a focus on strengths – the things that energise and engage us (not skills and competencies in this instance). 

Talking to your returners about what they love doing, what keeps their focus and attention, what’s happening when they’re feeling focused, are all natural conversation starters. And you don’t need to be a coach to ask them. Whilst you’re not promising their whole job can be designed around their strengths, we want to keep them front and centre as much as we can.

• Establishing boundaries

Being proactive with this one helps us all, and definitely not a parent only topic – but probably hits differently when you’re juggling a few extra people! What boundaries does your returner need you to know about? What boundaries do you need to share with them? It’s a two way conversation, and remember that boundaries aren’t all about saying no. 

• Facing into ‘parent only’ issues

Topics like flexible working seem to go hand in hand with parenthood, when actually they’re for everybody. The same with last minute routine changes, illness, travel logistics – I won’t diminish the complexities of these when you’re parenting, but in singling out parents and care givers, we could be inadvertently putting them on the back foot as well as treating them like a monolith. 

Approaching these conversations as a team, understanding that we are all likely to have moments in our lives when we need that next level of support to help us thrive in the workplace – that’s the difference between executing a policy and meeting people in their realities. 

What doesn’t work?

• Adopting the monolith mentality

I’ve mentioned it above, but I’ll go a bit further here. If we assume every returning parent has the same life set up, same experiences, same needs – we’re doing them a disservice. Before you panic, it doesn’t mean you start from scratch every time you’re welcoming someone back into the business! You can totally have a blue print for returner support, but then it gets the bespoke treatment too. 

Logistically, that might look like having HR as the custodian for the returner strategy, but individually in functions / teams (depending on the size of your business) you bring in the specifics for what they need to know. The same goes for broader conversations and assumptions – not every parent will be wanting to work the same way, they’ll all have different takes on the here and now for their career and support networks are a rich tapestry of nuance. 

• Assuming all parental leave is maternity leave

There’s not much to add to this really…it’s a reminder there are different routes to parenthood, and they are all deserving of support, welcomes back and attention. Giving to one group, doesn’t erase another.

• Workshops without line manager engagement 

I could write a whole book on this one, but I’ll keep it succinct. The blunt line here is don’t throw a load of workshops (or coaching) at your returners if what they’re returning to is an environment out of sync with the messages they’ve heard. 

For example – one of the topics we cover in Strong Returns is the importance of defining your version of success. We look at how that integrates with the workplace alongside the rest of your life. We don’t all have a definition of success that involves upwards progress – but if someone returning is greeted with a narrative that the only way to be any good is to want a promotion, that is going to go straight into a conflicting feeling that isn’t helpful to anybody. 

As you can probably tell, this is a huge topic! Hopefully this has given you some ideas to reflect on and consider your organisational narrative when it comes to returner support – but please drop me a note to hello@power-of-the-parent.com if it’s left you scratching your head!

The latest episode of the podcast is out now, and it’s covering…you guessed it, Strong Returns®, so if you want to hear a few more bits you can listen now. https://power-of-the-parent.com/power-of-the-parent-16-s6-ep16-supporting-a-strong-return/